Mountains. Bigger and Better Ones.

I've been really into fault lines and earthquakes and mountains lately. I miss hiking up big mountains. I miss the silence and peace that nature brings me.

Sometimes you need a big earthquake to shake up your life so you can build everything back up into taller, stronger mountains. I needed that quake, I got that quake. I've cleaned up the mess and I'm building things bigger and better than ever before. I'm feeling more and more at peace with everything.

I see you.

This one is for you, Mrs. McHugh

Every Saturday I went to Mrs. McHugh's house and paint. The schedule usually went as follows: wake up, donuts with Dad, Mrs. McHugh's, friend's house. This was my weekend ritual for years. I would skip out on Friday night sleepovers because I had to paint on Saturday morning. I'm not sure if my parents made me stick to the engagement because it was the responsible and respectable thing to do but I never seemed to mind those Saturday mornings.

Mrs. McHugh was my junior kindergarten teacher. I know it is hard to believe when I say this but I remember so vividly the day that I met her it seems like yesterday. On open house day I was shy (that didn't last very long) and stood behind my parents. Mrs. McHugh came up and introduced herself to me specifically and I came out from behind their legs and my fears of anything went away. I still have a few memories of that class in my mind. She let me stay awake during nap time to work on a paper collage. She used to hide a ghost around the classroom throughout October and I'd always be the first one to find it–probably because Mom insisted on being at school at 7am so I was usually the first one in the classroom.

So after that first year of school I started Saturday art class with Mrs. McHugh. I have no idea how it all started, so thank you Mom and Dad for arranging that. We worked primarily in tempera paints and water colors painting animals and flowers. It was a very technical, step-by-step process. She hung each step–draw, outline, paint–on the wall of her "studio" and I would follow each step and come out with a very interesting version of a horse or sunflowers or whatever was painted that day. And every painting I did was hung up in the hallway. Thank you for boosting my artistic confidence, Mom.

This isn't to say that I have learned everything about art from those Saturday mornings. In fact, my teaching philosophy is quite opposite. However, I was surrounded and inspired by the creativity Mrs. McHugh had in her life. My favorite thing to do was look at her bookshelves that held little trinkets or works of art she made. I was especially drawn to her mini collages she made with old National Geographic magazines. When I saw those I had to make some. So she showed me the stacks and stacks of National Geographic issues she had collected over the years. I was amazed by not only the amount and dates of the issues, but the ability to create something beautiful out of them.

I'm still inspired by the beautiful photography in national geographic magazines. And I get so excited when I find old issues of National Geographic. I am immediately transported back to those Saturday mornings and think of all the different things I can create. So while I was volunteering at an old school building my eyes lit up when I found stacks of National Geographic dating from the early 1970s through the 2000s. I saw stacks and stacks of potential works of art.

I have no idea what I'm going to do with them but a huge window just opened for me. And I can't help but think of Mrs. McHugh when I look at these National Geographic issues. If anything, these magazines are a reminder of the continuous inspiration and support I received when I was younger. It is amazing how the smallest things can trigger a memory. And as a visual learner, my memories are very vivid. 

It's not about the final product; it's about the fact that I had the push from others to continue on these paths. And that is why I'm here today, in a graduate program for art education. I'm not sure what I'll do with an master's degree in art education. I'm not even sure if I'll use it at all. But the opportunity to deeper explore these paths have made my past so much more clear. I hope that Mrs. McHugh knows what she did for me. I hope she knows how much I appreciate her guidance. 

Turns out I'm still not good at throwing. But I keep on trying! Here is what has come out so far...

The peacock guarding the door to the ceramics studio. I think it is mocking me. 

Last week's cylinder turned bowl. 

This week's cylinders that were supposed to be mug shaped. (Mine are the red clay in the front)

It may not look like much but I am starting to understand the full experience of throwing. It is as much of a physical practice as it is mental. It is all about controlling the breath, movement, pressure, time, and speed. I think I may have to start meditating before hand to get into the zen of throwing. 

Throwing Things

Life requires infinite amounts of patience. Life is a constant waiting game. I feel like I'm always waiting for something–a light to change, the weekend to come, a phone call, an email.

Time forces patience.

There have been several experiences that have taught me patience (or at least how to deal with it) in the last year or so. I won't go through a list of all of them but I can say with complete confidence that every experience in the recent past has enabled me to positively grow exponentially in an almost unbelievably short amount of time. I know that everything in my life up until now has "made me who I am today", if I may be slightly cliche. But this is the first time in my entire quarter-century of living that I have consciously recognized the growth and change within myself. 

The most meaningful lesson I've learned is to live almost completely in the present. As difficult as it is, I try not think about the past or the future too often. Or perhaps I should say, I try not to LIVE in the past or the future. The only time that I have is the current moment and looking at the past or towards future is to feel regret (past) or worry (future). This acceptance of time and not fighting how slow or fast it is brings a new sense of peace to my life–a heightened sense of my present surroundings, if you will. I may not know what went wrong in the past (or maybe I do in some cases) and I may not know what I will be doing in the future (career, love, location, etc.), but not thinking about those has calmed my mind. The tune in my head shifted harmoniously from the ominous minor chords to the joyous major chords and everything sounds sweeter. Just like in the beautiful symphonies of Beethoven and Mozart, the chords shift and it becomes more than just a sounds. It becomes an inexplicable sensation throughout the entire self.

What does your symphony sound like?

Naturally, what goes up must come down as Sir Newton so cynically pointed out to those of us who love to think we can fly. I think I've seen the farthest down I can go (I hope) and I think, because of my new found appreciation for patience in the world around me, my symphony has pages and pages of beautifully orchestrated notes with a just few minor chords thrown in just for good measure. Those minor dips are now met with acceptance and an understanding that it is part of the natural flow of how life works.

A tangible lesson in patience is throwing pottery. I'll even admit for the longest time I had no idea what "throwing" was. Well, throwing is that cool thing Demi Moore does on the wheel with Patrick Swayze behind her in Ghost. And no, I don't mean the sexual stuff. I mean the ceramic stuff. Using the momentum of the wheel and the malleability of the clay to create beautiful pottery.

I started taking a class called "Wheel Throwing and Beyond" at the local museum and the first class was this week. The few of us that are in the class were able to begin our first lesson on the wheel. If I can say one thing about throwing it is this: It is A LOT harder than Demi Moore makes it out to be. It is one hard medium to work with!

Our first class assignment was to make three cylinders on the wheel–your basic vase shape. We learned the technique step by step and then had the opportunity to get on the wheel and try it ourselves.

My final product: 0 cylinders, 1 bowl. FAIL

Throwing is TOUGH. It is all about touch and pressure and breath and moving with the clay and feeling the material. Apparently I don't have correct any of those things. Two of my cylinders flopped off because I applied too much pressure and the clay got too thin. And the last one that turned out as a bowl ended up like the because I pulled the clay too far out.

I think it is safe to say that I am no good at "wheel throwing and beyond". But this is where patience comes in. I have come to appreciate the challenge this medium has presented to me. This is yet another test of my patience. I know I will have to try and try and try over and over again to get what I want out of the clay. Then again, maybe I'll learn to love the "misshapen ball of clay" (to steal a line from Zoolander) that I create over the next few weeks.

It is like swimming for me. I know I can swim but I can't do it well. So I have to work on breathing and stroke and form and speed. All of these things will take incalculable amounts of time to perfect. However, it is the process and patience throughout this process that is teaching the lesson.

It's funny how this can relate to my teaching philosophy. This ceramics class is not about creating masterpieces. Rather, it is about learning and experiencing and exploring a new process of expression. In the end, I may not learn how to create a perfect cylinder ceramic vase, but I will learn how to step into a very zen-like state with the material I am working with and adapt my approach to make it work for me.

I'm not trying to say that a throwing class has become my metaphor for a new approach to life. Instead, I am trying to exemplify a perceptible experience as one way I am appreciating my present self and not regretting the past or worrying about the future.

Happy throwing!

Mas Doodlitos

Thanks for the fun painting day Alex.

Scribble Stage

Here are a few more scribbles to add to my collection...

"It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child." ~Picasso

Letting go of any sort of control in my artwork is always a difficult task. But it is also an important lesson.

This quote by Picasso has resonated with me ever since my visit to the Picasso Museum in Barcelona 4 years ago. I never really understood the importance of it until my studies in art education. My current philosophy (which has potential to change) is focused on creativity, self-exploration, self-awareness, and freedom to express. Like I've said in previous posts, the importance of art education is not the final product, but rather the means to this end and the emotional experience had while creating. 

I think kids have the right idea: scribble and paint and throw anything down on paper or canvas that expresses what I'm feeling inside and how I'm seeing the world. As a 24 year old, I am by no means an adult, but I probably see the world A LOT differently than most 4 year olds. But why would it be wrong for a 24 year old to create an image of the world as if a 4 year old would see it? And why is it so hard to paint like a 4 year old when you're 24?! The harshest critic we have is ourselves and therefore we can't enjoy the beauty of purple trees or red skies or scribbles representing a house. But what about Picasso? Or the Fauvist artists whose works actually do look like a child could have possibly created it? These works present the hardest challenge to artists: Paint like a child and don't copy images exactly as the rest of the world may see it. Paint things the way YOU see them and the way YOU think they should be expressed. 

Le Demoiselles d'Avignon, Picasso

   Le Bonheur de Vivre, Matisse

I've taken great interest in Viktor Lowenfeld's work Creative and Mental Growth (pictured) lately and it's as if he has taken my thoughts and put them on paper. Lowenfeld emphasizes creativity, self-expression, importance of the individual during the creative process, and the overall benefits of these ideas for children. I could quote his entire book to express my own feelings about art but I'll spare you the 346 page post. However, here is a taste of what he has to offer:

"Probably the best preparation for creating is the act of creation itself." -p. 4

"Giving the child opportunities to create constantly with the knowledge he currently has is the best preparation for future creative action." -p. 4

"Art for the child is something quite different [from adults]. For a child art is primarily a means of expression...A child sees the world differently from the way he represents it, and as he grows his expression changes. " -p. 6

"Art education has the special mission of developing within the individual those creative sensitivities that make life satisfying and meaningful." -p. 13

I could go on and on but one of the most important lessons I take from this book is the importance of fostering the creativity in a child and allowing that self-expression to be made into beautiful works of art without judgement. This allowance at a young age to have an outlet for emotion and feeling will open up the possibilities for the future in school and in life in general. 

The most important aspect of Lowenfeld's works are his "Developmental Stages in Art". Simply listed:

1. Scribbling Stage: 2-4 years old (approx.); random marks on paper

2. Preschematic Stage: 4-7 years old (approx.); first attempts at representational figures (head-feet figure for a man)

3. Schematic Stage: 7-9 years old (approx.); definite form; symbolizing parts of his environment

4. Stage of Dawning Realism: 9-12 years old (approx.); objects as symbols still; more self-awareness and detail

5. Pseudo-naturalistic Stage: 12-14 years old (approx.): recognize and create depth and proportion; self-criticism; for some, this is the end of artistic development

6. Age 14+: conscious awareness of art and eagerness to develop talent

Viktor Lowenfeld's Creative and Mental Growth*

While working with children and watching their work and actually looking beyond the scribbles and random colors, these stages make perfect sense. It has been so eye-opening to see art at these stages from an "adult" perspective. Children are most likely unaware of the transition between stages and do not understand the importance of going through each stage. 

With all that being said I've decided to take on a mini-experiment. I am going to try creating works as if I were in each stage; starting from the beginning and moving through to where I actually am today. I want to learn to paint like a child. I want to know the excitement of color and scribbles and line and seeing the world with different eyes that make trees purple and skies red. I'm hoping to sense the emotion, self-awareness, and creativity that is supposedly to be experienced in each stage and understand the transitions between each stage. I'm trying to think of it as creativity experiment. Maybe if I start from the beginning and scribble and scribble until I can't scribble anymore, my mind will slowly begin to open and find that inner creativity and self-expression that I seem to have lost some years ago. We'll see how it goes...

The first of the Scribbles

A freeing experience.

*Lowenfeld, V & W.L. Brittain. (1970). Creative and Mental Growth. London, England: The Macmillian Company

"The artist's first creation is himself." ~Harold Rosenberg, 1973

An exciting week...

Volunteered for a camp put on be a wonderful Austin foundation this week. (http://www.amalafoundation.org/)

Here's what the kids created...

New EVERYTHING!

I have been on one of life's metaphorical rollercoasters and things are finally beginning to make sense to me. Images are getting clearer and clearer and things aren’t flying by me so quickly anymore. I’m slowing down and beginning to see a lot more of the happy little details I was missing before. I’ve revamped my blog, my art, my life and here’s what I’ve come up with so far!

Art education. Art. Education. Two words which seem almost contradictory when put next to each other–at least in my eyes.

Here are my thoughts on these two words independently before I continue:

Art is an expression of one’s creativity utilizing different media. This could include: paints, crayons, pencils, sculptures, dance, music…the possibilities are endless. Art can take many forms and is almost impossible to grade. This does not mean that art cannot be critiqued. Critiquing art can help an artist to explore a deeper understanding of what he or she is trying to emit in his or her work. And, of course, everyone is an artist, no matter the skill level. The only requirements for art are creativity and a means to materialize that creativity.

Education (for today’s learners) has become a hindrance to the growth of creativity in our youth. The motivation to learn has drastically declined because of the lack of excitement in the classroom. The curricular expectations and the standards required by governments have limited classroom learning to facts being dictated and students memorizing them in order to pass a test. Critical thinking, creativity, analysis, even questions are disappearing from classroom learning and will, in turn, point us to a deficient economic and social future.

That being said…

I may not be able to change education. I may not be able to change ART education. But over the last few years, the opportunities to work with kids, work in education, work in museums, and begin a masters program in art education have allowed me to have a critical eye towards these two fields. I am also able to share my views and opinions on the subject here and elsewhere so maybe ideas can spread and change can eventually happen.

Simply stated, I believe art education that allows for creativity and self-expression from a young age will positively impact the developmental stages of our youth and provide for successful futures.

The K-12 learners of today are at a great disadvantage because they have been sent into this education system that does not allow their minds to develop in a way that enables them to question and analyze the world around them. Core subjects such as Math, Science, History and Language arts are put at the forefront of their education while art education is pushed to the side as an elective. This could be because many may see art education as a subject that cannot be applied later in life. Quite the opposite is true, however.

If art education is restructured, it can play a pivotal role in any person’s future. Rather than art education being focused on technique, art education should be based on creativity, self-expression, self-reflection, critical thinking and problem solving. I think everyone can agree that these characteristics are needed (along with other things) to create and maintain successful futures in any field. Therefore, art education should no longer be about the final product of a child’s work, but instead, it should focus on the PROCESS–the means to the end, if you will. Guidelines should be kept to a minimum. Instead of teaching a student how to paint a still life or draw a self-portrait, an art teacher should spark inspiration in the artist and allow him or her to find what they want to create within themselves.

I’ve observed many different of art classes and I have felt that the most successful ones (not in terms of final product or “gallery worthy” art) have been those classes that focus on the self-reflection and self-expressive aspects of art. A self-portrait does not have to be representational of reality. It can be an expression of how the artist sees himself, and I think it can be said that many people don’t see themselves as others may see them. Students are in touch with themselves and their work and create pieces that are uniquely theirs. These classes have allowed them to see, reflect, and express without judgement or expectation.

Cultivating this sense of freedom of expression and self-awareness at a young age will enable youth to grow as individuals rather than as numbers in a crowd. It is this type of environment and encouragement that will create confident, self-starting, creative, inspired, self-aware, successful adults.

These revelations I have had over the last few years have also given me a chance to look at my own art differently. It has always been difficult for me to put more than just an image on a canvas. But this is something that I have been working on.

I’m starting from scratch. I am creating without expectation. I’m trying to find that inner-self and materialize it. It is a process, one that is much more difficult to begin as an adult. But these kids who work with such self-awareness and creativity have become my teachers and my inspiration. 

I call these my little doodlitos. They're no bigger than a 3x5. This is me getting back to the beginnings and learning what paint can do for me and what I can do with paint....

No expectations, just paint.